Le Phoenix A High School Story
by LovingTheOgre
Summary: DaiChi High school has it's share of moments with these modern day Naruto characters...Love, Betrayal, Angst, Walk In's, Perverted Jokes and BAKING? The SEQUEL to Flecks of Grey and Blue. A High School story like no other! A CROSSOVER FIC AS OF NOW!
1. Introductions

Le Phoenix

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters but the plot is MINE all MINE!**

**Sasuke: So now onto Part 2 Sequel to Flecks of Grey and Blue…**

**Sera: YAY! It's here! Oh and the setting of our Romantic Comedy takes place in Present Day Konoha-for those peeps who don't know…ALTERNATE UNIVERSE.**

**Sasuke: Stop with the narration!**

--

-The Opening for this Romantic Comedy takes place in the halls of Dai-Chi High school-

"Aw damnit! I still don't see why I hafta do it!" Kiba Inuzuka complained from beside his friend. He held his school bag loosely in his hands behind his head as he and his friend walked down the long hall way towards their lockers, each step you could tell he dreaded.

"What's the big deal Kiba? It's just a ride, not like he'll say no anyways." Shikamaru said, hands shoved in the pockets of his black trousers, slouch ever so evident, his school blazer hanging around his waist. "It's Naruto your askin' remember, not Sasuke."

"Dwah? Are you forgetting about the fact that Uzumaki hates me?"

"…you're so troublesome Kiba." The lazy boy said. "Besides you don't have any other option. Shino's got cram school, I've got to pick up my mother from the air port and you haven't even considered Gaara because of last time."

"Last time? Nya? Oh yeah, he's such a prick! Askin' if I was potty trained, like I'm a dog or somthin'! Can ya believe the nerve of that guy? _Ch!_ I'd rather take my chances with askin' Deidara-Sempai."

They passed a small crowed of blushing fan girls, ninth graders, as they made their way towards Naruto's usual spot, Shikamaru ignoring the rants and raves of _'Oh Shikamaru-Sempai is ever so smart!' 'Shikamaru-Kuuun!_' He sighed.

"Dwaah?"

Shikamaru lifted a brow.

"the hell?"

On Naruto's locker was a pink card with rose, taped on. It sparkled, the lace was evidence that whom ever made it took much of their time in getting it just right.

"No way. Uzumaki's got himself a fan girl?" Kiba, all troubles forgotten at the moment, practically skipped towards the locker and ogled the love card staring at the loopy and obviously feminine writing. He smirked. "It's pink Shika, pink! Hey! I _know_ that writing…"

"Huh?" Shikamaru leaned over Kiba's shoulder and smirked. "Seems like…I know it as well."

Kiba's eye twitched, his hand fisted and he groaned, loudly: **UZUMAKI YOU'RE DEAD!**

From his physics class on the other side of the school on the third floor Naruto sneezed.

"_Achoo_!" He wiped his nose. "Hmmm, someone's _talkin'_ about me."

--

Sasuke pulled into the usual parking space directed farthest from the school entrance where the Goth kids usually sat around in their cars blaring their music. He leaned back, turning his radio off and just relaxing a bit before he would have to make the short yet agonizingly long trek to class all the way on the other side of the building.

The tie around his neck was too tight.

His collared white shirt was too clingy and his blazer was too itchy.

He wanted to get out.

"Hey you."

He turned his attention to the girl sitting beside him.

"Oh hey."

She lifted a brow.

"Oh hey? Did you _forget_ of was in the car or something?"

He shrugged.

"No I was just spacing Ino."

The blond beside him nodded, satisfied with his obvious lie, and straightened her blue plaid skirt.

"I was wondering…if you wanted to call today a free day?"

His sighed.

"Free day, what's that?"

"I mean let's skip class today."

'_Ah, no wonder I'm dating her…she reads me so very well!'_ He thought. _'She's just so perfect….I know! I'll bake her a four layered cake! The one I've been dreaming about making since my mother showed me the recipe!'_

"Yeah." He smirked. "Lets skip class."

Ino's smile beamed, and he could tell she was imagining the things they could do on their free day while he wondered if she would be against baking cookies and possibly cupcakes for the day-which he for some reason really wanted to do-until he tuned back to what she was saying.

"-Sakura and I wanted to go to this new mall that in Konan district."

"Dwah?"

She smiled.

"Oh silly, that's so sweet of you to take Sakura and I to Konan district!" She hugged him. "You're such a sweetie!"

'_Okay…so maybe she doesn't read me all that well.'_ He sighed inwardly. _'And here I wanted to bake on this free day, aw well…I can just do that when I get home from this girl's spree thing in Konan District.'_

"…Sure…what ever you want."

--

**Sera: What could Kiba want from Naruto other then a ride? Who is the card from? Will Sasuke ever get to bake his dream cake?**

**Sasuke: Shut up.**

**Sera: And what kind of cute clothes will the girls buy? Find out next chapter of Le Phoenix!**

**Sasuke: Review and she'll continue. Oh and no flames…she hates those.**


	2. Introduction extended

Le Phoenix

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters but the plot is MINE all MINE!**

**Sasuke: Rating has been down graded to T?**

**Sera: Yup, some readers are young.**

**Sasuke: Whatever…**

--

"I'm so very disappointed in you all." Anko said balancing a stack of graded papers in one hand and the other pointing to the three rows of 10th grade students. "How is it that most of you failed this exam? You did so great on the quizzes! **SHAME**!"

Naruto sighed at the very far end of the second row, luckily hidden by Sasuke's fan girls whom were currently having fits at not seeing their beloved Prince in class.

"How very troublesome…looks like I didn't get 100 percent." Shikamaru said from beside Naruto. He stared down at his test paper, which was stained in slight grease from Choji's fingers.

"What'd ya get?"

"A 99 percent…if it weren't so troublesome I'd be upset."

Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, 98 percent is so bad! I bet I failed."

Anko, whom heard the blonds voice smiled from the front row holding up his test.

"Actually you got the highest mark Naruto, 100 percent-past Shikamaru whom came in second and Sasuke who came in at third with a 89 who tied with Hinata!"

"Wow Uzumaki did?" A random student asked.

"If **HE** got the best score what did I get?" Another asked.

Naruto smiled brightly, making a mental note to that Shino for dragging him to cram school last semester and studying with him afterwards.

"Well that proves that I, Naruto Uzumaki, am **not** brain dead."

Shikamaru lifted his head from his desk, peeved slightly that his nap was interrupted.

"…Troublesome class mates…" His dark eyes landed on one person, however, whom was sitting next to the blond. Her cheeks pink as she held in a laugh staring at Naruto, her crush.

"_Troublesome_."

Then he turned away, blush on his face.

He really _didn't_ want to like Hinata-not that _way_ at least.

He had never been so relieved to get out of class when the bell sounded. Naruto and Hinata stared after the Pineapple-headed boy while Choji just sighed.

"Why do I have a feeling it's about a girl?"

Naruto lifted a brow collecting his things.

"Naw. Shika's too _lazy_ to get worked up over a girl." He turned to Hinata. "Ya coming Hinata?"

The girl nodded and followed the boy out of the class room.

--

While in his economics class Gaara Sabaku stared out of the window which was incidentally opened, and next to him, with a sigh. He was tempted to just jump out until he remembered he was on the top floor.

He _remembered_ how much it hurt _last_ time.

You would _think_ that his seat would be moved from the **freedom hole**, as he called it, huh?

Leaning back in his seat, staring at the clock-which ticked by extra slow for his taste-Gaara's thoughts went to his empty stomach. He stared at his rather unattractive teacher.

'…_I could just KILL the bastards who birthed her…Damn I'm starved!'_ He thought as his eyes wandered from the clock to his class mates, noticing for the first time that Ten-Ten Mikagi **(gave her a last name for lack of knowing one) **was staring at him.

He looked away and scribbled something on a piece of paper: _'What are you staring at?'_ He stealthily handed it to the _girl_ next to him… "Hey girl, give this to Ten-Ten." …which _wasn't_ a girl at all.

With an apologetic look at Haku, he turned back to pay attention to what was in the book he was to be reading.

A moment later Haku nudged Gaara's elbow and handed him the folded note.

_What are you staring at?_

_-Gaara_

**Your hair.**

**-Ten-Ten**

Finding her response strange he decided to ignore her, or tried to anyway.

He kept stealing glances at her-whom was still obviously staring at him.

_**Ping Pong Ping Pong Ping Pong Ping Pong.**_

'_Finally!'_ He thought as the bell sounded. He collected his things quickly and tried to make a b-line out the room when Ten-Ten's hands grabbed his elbow stopping him.

"What do you want Ten-Ten?"

She smiled up at him.

"I think you're cute."

And with that the girl walked out of the room leaving a very blushing and shocked Gaara behind.

Haku, from his place beside him laughed.

**Sera: AH! This was pointless but kinda funny. Poor Shika's got a crush on a girl he doesn't want to like…Gaara's got a fan in Ten-Ten and Haku makes his debut. WHAT WILL HAPPEN?**

**Review and I'll go on!**

**Sasuke:…I wasn't in this? Blasphemy!**


	3. Chapter 1 Join the Cabaret

Le Phoenix

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters but the plot is MINE all MINE!**

**Sasuke: Yeah yours all yours**

**Sera: Thanks for agreeing.**

**Sasuke: Dwah? I had the choice to disagree?**

**Sera: No.**

**Sasuke:…**

**Sera: The first two chapters were all introductions to some of the characters. So here we are, at Chapter 1**

**Sasuke:…idiot.**

**Sera: Oh shut it! I'm giving you the best vehicle known to man…or Emo kids.**

**Sasuke: I'm not Emo.**

**Sera:…ANY WAY-enjoy all!**

**Sasuke: Not EMO!**

--

Chapter 1

Join the Cabaret

A Vista Cruiser pulled into the driveway of a small quaint house, complete with the overly cliché white picked fence framing the house in an obnoxiously cute way. Flowers in perfect colored coordinated order under the two windows decorating the house, the grass was cut just a bit too right with not one stray leaf on the ground. Even the trees seemed artificial.

Sasuke remembered now why he hated going over to Sakura's house that one time for her 6th birthday.

Too cute.

Ino swung the heavy car door opened then slammed it shut before skipping up to the driveway and disappearing into the opened garage where she made her way into the house, her white tennis shoes making a slight scraping noise against the concrete with each step.

Rolling his eyes and leaning back in his seat, he waited the long wait, of course. He knew it'd take both girls a horrendously long time to change-Ino out of her uniform and Sakura into something she thought would be flirty and cute that would, and he quoted Ino, _"Make all the guys go Humna Humna."_

_Was it too much to ask for girls to be somewhat normal?_ It took him only three minutes to change behind the 7 Eleven building with clothes that were kinda clean that his brother had left in the back of the Cruiser from that time at the beach.

Sasuke loved having his boat of a car, always enough room and always filled with necessary things that never too up any room-his skate board, boogie board and roller blades, along with some cooking supplies he bought the week before were in the back safe and sound leaving more then enough room for six passengers to seat in it comfortably still.

"I could so be baking something right now…a cake, cupcakes…maybe I'd be even cooking…which reminds me." He pulled out a notebook from under his seat and opened it to a blank page, pulling out his pencil from behind his ear he wrote a grocery list for what he would need for the week. If he was going to sit in his car for an hour or so he might as well have something to do and going on about food products was always fun.

_Maybe_, he thought, _I should be a chef._

--

"What're you doing here?" Ino pointed to the girl sitting on the plastic covered green couch.

"Hello to you to Prom Queen. Aren't you supposed to be at school?" The girl made a retort. Currently in her sleep wear, a pair of red boxers and a white t-shirt, she was in no mood to play around with any of her cousins friends-no matter how much Sakura begged. "Aren't you supposed to be in school?"

"Whatever…isn't Sakura up yet, Matsuri?"

Matsuri shrugged her shoulders.

"Dunno-haven't heard her snoring in quite a while, she might be up. By the way, is that Sasuke I see in that beat up 70's train wreck?"

Ino rolled her eyes.

"Yes. And it's a car, not a train wreck…no matter how old it is."

Matsuri laughed.

"Yeah? Sounds like you're agreeing with me." She made a face then smiled. "I'm gonna say hi. Don't worry, I wont tell him about our _mutual_ disgust for old things."

Ino laughed.

"Sure. I'll be right back."

--

"Yo Uchiha, long time no see." Matsuri said standing in front of the Cruiser. Her hand waved slightly after getting the boy's attention. "Been a while."

He nodded.

"Yeah, since the summer at least." He said placing his pencil in his notebook and tossing it into the back seat-he'd think later on what to make for dinner. "How've you been, Matsuri?"

She shrugged her answer and climbed in beside him where Ino was sitting before. She stretched out her legs.

"I've been normal. Visiting Sakura and her people for a while-living back at home really aint an option at the moment."

"Got kicked out?"

"More like tossed out the window."

"Ouch." Sasuke said. "So are you going to be living here with your aunt now that your foster parents dumped you?"

Matsuri shrugged.

"For a little while until I can find a job and an apartment…know of any good places to work?"

"The Uchiha Bakery is always looking for help…but then again that's all they way in the Uchiha district close to the station…you're not too into the whole cops thing if I remember."

She smirked.

"I hate cops as much as I hate guns or any sort of weapon…so uh how's everything?"

"Decent. I've been dating Ino recently, did you know?"

Matsuri rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, Sakura called while I was back at home whining about how she lost her chance-at least that what I thought she said-I zoned her out and took a shower and do ya know what?"

"What?"

"When I picked up the phone she was still their whining. None the wiser."

Sasuke smirked.

"Hn."

--

**Sera: Sasuke can cook! Isn't that cute?**

**Sasuke: So unmanly…**

**Sera: Matsuri is a filler character I think(though I aint too sure)…I got a review askin' for her so while I watched the first episode of her I wrote her in. I like her.**

**Sasuke: Yeah yeah…so what's the deal? Prolonging the actual action?**

**Sera: Oh you'll see. Comment please! Review and I'll go on…that's how I work.**

**Sasuke: Whatever.**

**Sera: Comment and you get Sasuke's famous sugar cookies!**

**Sasuke: Stop your lies!**

**Sera: COMMENT!**


	4. Join the Cabaret Part 2

Le Phoenix

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters but the plot is MINE all MINE!**

**Sasuke: I know already!**

**Sera:…Mmm…**

**Sasuke: Hey! Where'd my cookies go?**

**Sera: Mmm? **_**Munch-chew**_

**Sasuke: HEY! Those were for the Konoha Bake Sale!**_**-Chases her-**_

**Sera: Nya! Hahahahah MINE! **_**–trips-**_** OW!**

**Sasuke:…**

--

Chapter 1

Join the Cabaret Part 2

"Hey shouldn't you take the highway? That'd get us to Konan District quicker wouldn't it?" Sakura asked from beside Ino in the front. _(The front of a Vista Cruiser can seat three people comfortably 1 reason why I want one)_

"Hn." Was his retort as he continued on the long stretch of road. Not like he needed to explain or anything, but his uncle usually worked the highway roads-sometimes he wished his family wasn't full of cops. It would be too easy for his uncle to notice his car. "Let's cruise." After all he'd given that car to Sasuke.

Sakura nodded, sipping her iced tea while Ino leaned against Sasuke's shoulder. The day was nice and cool, the sun shone brightly and from the opened windows the air just felt so good against the skin. She didn't even mind that she was in the train wreck of a car-as long as that breeze kept coming in.

"So ladies, which store did you decide on first?" Sasuke asked bringing up the question as a sort of conversation-the ride had been abnormally quiet. "Ya know, there's this cooking place that I've had my eye on."

"No way! I'm not spending a free day in some pots & pans place while you drool over cookware, Sasuke-Kun!" Sakura said. "Let's just go to the Fire-Front plaza and find something to do."

He nodded.

"That sounds like a plan…hey Sakura?"

"Yeah?"

"Is Ino asleep?"

Sakura looked over at the slightly drooling blond and giggled.

"Looks like it."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, looking momentarily at the blond on his shoulder sound asleep before looking back at the road in front of him.

"Hn, no wonder it's been so quiet."

--

"Uchiha…Uchiha… Sasuke Uchiha"

Naruto's face almost hit his desk.

"He's **ABSENT**…DAMNIT!"

--

Matsuri pulled into an empty space close to the Dai-Chi High entrance. After shutting off the engine of her car, she adjusted her new school uniform that her aunt insisted she wear on her first day.

Not like it mattered.

She was already late.

Getting out from the small confines of her VW Bug, Matsuri locked it up and swaggered slowly towards her new prison.

"Hope at least that **He's** here."

--

"**ACHOO**!"

"Hey Gaara, you okay? Got a cold or something."

Gaara shrugged.

"Nope…must be _someone_ talking about me."

Haku rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. So you were telling me about this ex girlfriend?"

Gaara nodded.

"Yeah. Anyway, we were together for a while."

Haku nodded twiddling his hair with his fingers. He didn't know how he and Gaara ended up hitting it off but both were currently cutting class at the basketball courts talking about life and all those things that they'd never really talked about before. Haku liked it, he finally got along with someone. "So what happened?"

"Well," Gaara started, crossing his legs and stretching his arms. His red hair was in a bit more disarray then normal for the simple fact that he'd been rubbing his hands against it. "-there was this guy…actually you might know him…his names Deidara."

"Yeah I know him."

Gaara sighed.

"Well one night as this huge party during the summer-I go out to look for her with my brother right, since were about to leave, and I find my bro's car is kinda moving."

"Moving?"

"Yeah." Gaara nods then continues. "So I peek in the window and find her with him."

Haku's eye widened.

"They were doing it?"

Gaara sighed.

"Yeah. Anyway, she calls me the next day a crying mess, telling me how sorry she is about it-that she never wanted to hurt me."

"So what do you say?"

"I tell her I forgive her…but that I need time."

Haku nodded.

"what was her name, Tiffany?"

Gaara nodded.

"Yeah."

**(BET YOU THOUGHT IT WAS MATSURI! HAHAHA)**

Haku pulled his hair into a high pony tail. It was getting it bit hot for wearing down and he began to sweat. He looked over at the red head sitting in front of him.

"So what's up? You guys dating again or something?"

Gaara shook his head.

"That was the plan but no. She moved to Connecticut-she still writes me and calls though."

"So you're friends?"

"I guess…anyway-what about you?" Gaara asked. The feminine boy hadn't uttered anything about himself.

"I live with my foster father, I have pet rabbit named Momiji. That's about it."

"What? No girlfriend?"

Haku laughed.

"Right…well girls don't usually date boys prettier them themselves."

Gaara nodded.

"So what, you play on the pink team or something? Not trying to be an ass I'm just curious."

Haku shrugged.

"No it's fine. Um well, I guess you can say I swing both ways however I haven't found anyone, of either sex Fair or otherwise, to catch my interest."

"Really? Must be tough being pretty."

Haku nodded.

"It is, especially when you get questioned about your sexuality constantly…do you know that guys actually check me out in the shower at the locker room? They wanna make sure I'm actually a guy and not a flat chested girl."

"Dwah? You serious?" Gaara asked then laughed.

--

**Sera: I wanted to throw people off with who Gaara's ex was…don't worry she wont be in the story. Also I needed to introduce the actually reason why Gaara and Deidara hate one another in this story-which will comically come up in later chapters-Matsuri will play a vital role in the Deidara-VS-Gaara fight and Haku? Well, Haku's just plain evil.**

**Sasuke: You ate my cookies…**

**Sera: Bake more then!**

**Sasuke:…hate you…**


	5. Join the Cabaret Part 3

Le Phoenix

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters but the plot is MINE all MINE!**

**Sasuke: Finally an update! Now where do I come in?**

**Sera: Uh…yeah about that…due to the length of the chapter anyway…it was cut short.**

**Sasuke: So…there is barely any me in 3?**

**Sera: yeah.**

**Sasuke:…I hate you more with each passing day-why am I your favorite again?**

**Sera: **_**-shrugs-**_** Your hair.**

**Sasuke:…Idiot…**

* * *

Chapter 1 

Join the Cabaret Part 3

Deidara was a normal boy by all standards, in his standard at least. He was a handsome man-though you'd be hard pressed to realize this since his long blonde locks hid one eyes as the other peeked out in a coy cute look that most girls would incidentally use-Deidara was all man, so the fact that Gaara Sabaku, an underclassmen usually called him Mary Jane and smacked his ass as a way of taunting him would not surprise anyone that he hated the little red head.

"Again…you'd think he'd get tired of that but no-the little reject has to embarrass me in front of the entire gym class by calling me that name, yeah!"

Tobi, whom was leaning up against his now closed gym locker nodded in agreement in a childish fashion.

"I know Deidara-San!"

"So, here's the plan, while I distract the little skid mark you go into his locker and fill it to the brim with empty Viagra bottles and a Penis pump! Next time that punk opens up his locker he's gonna be humiliated and probably drop out, yeah!"

Tobi tilted his head in confusion.

"But I cant."

"Why the hell not, yeah?"

"Because Tobi is a good boy."

Deidara smacked his forehead and stormed off to find Sasori-maybe he'd be up to some prank-ing fun.

"Tobi you **IDIOT**, yeah!"

* * *

Ino looked at the head to toe mirror as she stared at the pink dress she was wearing. It went barely past the knee and tied at the back. The low v-neck slightly itched.

"I hate it."

Sakura smiled.

"I love it! Let me try it on!"

Sasuke was sitting on a lip shaped couch along with the other male species that were dragged into Hades-the clothing store.

"So, how long ya been here?" He asked a slightly balding man at his side.

"About two hours, that wife of mine is the devil."

Sasuke nodded in understanding. Reaching at his side he pulled up a bag of pretzels that he had bought before walking into the store a half hour before. He offered it to the man.

"Hungry?"

The man nodded a took a small handful.

"Thanks. I swear if I had to fish out another mint out of my wife's purse for nourishment I was going to scream."

Sasuke nodded again.

"I feel for ya. My mother does the same thing."

A woman, who was in her late thirties walked out of the dressing room in a short black dress. She stood in front of the man smiling.

"So what do you think Henry?"

Henry smiled.

"You look like an angel!"

The woman smiled and ran back into the dressing room. Henry turned to Sasuke and smiled.

"No matter what the little lady asks how she looks always reply with what she wants to hear. _"Do I look fat?"_ Always say **no**. _"Does this make me look old?"_ Always say **no**. _"Do you think I'm pretty?"_ Always say **YES**. This will save you a lot of pain in the long run.

Suddenly Ino came out of the dressing room wearing a horrendously tight green dress with slight frill and the bottom.

"Does this dress make me look fat? It's not too tight is it?"

"It's perfect on you…you look beautiful"

Ino kissed his cheek and disappeared into the dressing room. Sasuke looked at Henry for a moment before nodding.

"Thank you for your wisdom."

"Not a problem."

* * *

Deidara and Sasori were sitting quietly in the library studying for the mid term exams. Deidara stared at his friend before looking back at his book for the millionth time. 

"What is it Deidara?"

Deidara smiled.

"I need a favor, yeah."

"No."

"Aw! C'mon it's just a little itsy bitsy wittle prank, yeah!"

Sasori, without lifting an eye from his book said no again.

"No. Last time I helped you with an _itsy bitsy wittle prank_ I got stuck doing the heavy lifting not to mention breaking in and entering the Sabaku household."

"Um, yeah…"

"Do you know that they _own_ a pet _Raccoon_? The damned thing almost _ate my face whole_…the damned thing _dragged me_ to it's _litter box_ witch was _filled_ with _sand_….**SAND**! Do you know how it _feels_ to be in a _face full of sand_, being _eaten _by **Shukaku** the **Raccoon pet from hell** while having a Back Pac _full_ to toilet paper and silly string with old woman panties? I _barely_ managed to escape when Kankuro and their _demonic hell spawn_ of a _sister_ came to check out of the little _demon_!"

"They have a pet raccoon, yeah?"

Sasori fumed.

"That's not the point! The point is that I will never help you to avenge your manly honor by going after Sabaku!"

Deidara made puppy dog eyes that shimmered with tear. His lips quivered slightly before he began to whine.

"But…Sasori…yeah…"

"No."

The librarian _shhhed_ them.

"Sasori…yeah…"

"Denied!"

"_Shhh_!"

"Sasori…please yeah…"

"Damn it man. For the last time **NO**!"

The librarian sat up at and pointed to the door.

"Get the hell out of my library!"

Sasori stared daggers at Deidara before both boys walked out the library.

* * *

**Sera: That was fun. Deidara is such a baby and poor Sasori getting mauled by Gaara's pet raccoon Shukaku. I just had to do that to the Tanuki demon. Gaara wouldn't be Gaara without Shukaku. With Henry and Sasuke, Henry imparted Sasuke with his wisdom huh? I hope you guys liked it.**

**Sasuke: I was saved by the wrath of an angry girl!**

**Sera: For now.**

**Sasuke: For now?**

**Sera: **_**-smiles-**_** Yeah…bwahahahahahah**

**Sasuke:…oh damn.**

**REVIEW!**


	6. Join the Cabaret Part 4

Le Phoenix

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters but the plot is MINE all MINE!**

**Sasuke: Finally done with the story?**

**Sera: No way! I'm only done with chapter ****1**

**Sasuke: It continues?**

**Sera: Yes Sir!**

**Sasuke:…NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

--

Chapter 1

Join the Cabaret Part 4 (Cabaret's Conclusion)

"So now that we have all these clothes, plus shoes and an assorted women's beach wear with matching sunglasses I'm safe to assume that we can now go to Miwako's Cookware ?" Sasuke asked loading all the bags of new clothing, make up, and jewelry into the Cruiser. He turned to the two girls with hopeful eyes.

"…Actually we're going to Happy Berry…but you can go to Miwako's if ya want…although we do need a strong tall man to help us carry our stuff." Ino said with bright eyes. She pouted slightly. "And the fact that some pervert might hit on us while we're alone and oh so vulnerable…"

Sasuke sighed.

"So I'm going to Happy Berry with you?"

"That's right."

Sakura looked at both and giggled.

"Who knew Sasuke-Kun was _so_ easy…"

--

Kiba leaned back in his chair with sandwich in hand. He loved lunch, if anyone asked, it was his favorite class of the day.

"Come ta papa!" He took a giant bite.

"Chew like a human you dog." Gaara said from beside him. The red head was currently enjoying pocky, and ramune which earned him slightly strange looks from everyone else, he usually had such a healthy lunch, like the usual salad and tea.

"Is that what you're having, Gaara?" Naruto asked from beside him having Onigiri. **(Bet ya thought it was Ramen right?)**

The red head shrugged.

"What? What's wrong with my lunch?"

"Nothing's wrong…it's just abnormal."

Kiba rolled his eyes.

"Way to go ya ijit!"

Naruto lifted a brow.

"What'd I say?"

Gaara sighed.

"Never mind. Anyway, where is Uchiha? Isn't he usually attached to your ass when we cant go outside to eat?"

Naruto shrugged his shoulders taking a long sip of his coke.

"I dunno. I think he's sick or somthin'…but ya know I haven't seen Ino or Sakura-Chan either. Weird huh?"

Gaara rolled his eyes and Kiba snorted in laughter.

"What?"

"Nothing Uzumaki."

"Yeah Naruto, nothing. Ya aint said nothing too stupid at all, I mean of course someone like _you_ wouldn't figure it out."

Naruto's eye twitched.

"_Grrr_…I'll figure it out, **BELIEVE** **IT**!"

From the other side of town Sasuke sneezed.

--

Ten-Ten shuffled down the hall way towards her locker with tired eyes. She'd just been in Genma's English class, which of course was boring as hell. He'd decided to watch some ubberly romantic Shakespeare inspired epic which made her eye lids shut and her snore off to la la land and leave class after everyone else had left, apparently Genma didn't want to wake her.

"Yawn…now for some lunch and then to claim some hot Subaku ass…what the hell?" In her rambling she noticed Deidara shuffling around Gaara's locker…what got her was the fact that there appeared to be something moving in the bag her held in his hand.

She tip toed towards the blonde whom was giggling madly.

"I'll get you now Gaara, yeah…with this rabid monkey in your locker…_muwahahahahahahahahahahahaha_, yeah."

"Excuse me?"

He stiffened, turned and screamed.

"I've been caught, **RUNAWAY, yeah**!"

And he ran down the hall leaving Ten-Ten and a surprisingly not so rabid monkey behind.

She looked down at the little monkey, picked him up and smiled.

"I'll name you BoB."

"_Oh Oh Ah Ah_." BoB said hugging his new owner.

--

"Is this food?" Matsuri asked a girl sitting beside her. She poked the apparent meat and gagged. "I don't think it's all the way dead."

The girl giggled.

"I don't think so either…here have some of my lunch. I'm Hinata by the way."

Matsuri popped a dumpling in her mouth and smiled.

"_Mmph_! I'm Matsuri, just started today. Thanks for the grub."

"No problem." Hinata said. "So where did you move from?"

"Far away…I'm actually staying with my cousin and her family here. You know Sakura Haruno right?"

Hinata rolled her eyes.

"I know her."

"Wow, what hostility! What's the deal?"

Hinata blushed slightly.

"W-well she kind of…well…"

Before she could finish however she was interrupted by screams.

"**NO WAY AM I GIVING YOU A RIDE TO THE VET! YOU CALLED ME SLOW! INUZUKA**!"

"**AW C'MON NARUTO! IT WAS A JOKE**!"

"**UNLESS YOU'RE GETTING FIXED THEN NO RIDE**!"

Matsuri rolled her eyes and Hinata laughed as Kiba whined.

--

It's not great but it's something. Review please.


	7. Art and Family: What a Drag Part 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters but the plot is MINE all MINE!**

**Sasuke: You know. I thought you were gonna scrap this.**

**Sera: Why?**

**Sasuke: Because you forgot about it for about a good two weeks.**

**  
Sera: What? I have a life.**

**Sasuke: Right.**

**Sera: Shut up before I…I…**

**Sasuke: **_**'smirks'**_** Before you what?**

**Sera: **_**'smiles evilly'**_** before I make Ino leave you for Itachi.**

**Sasuke: You wouldn't.**

**Sera: Oh I would…Muahahahahahahaha**_**'CoughHackoChoke'**_**hahahahahahahah**

**Sasuke:…Idiot**

--

Chapter 2

Art and Family: What a Drag Part 1

Matsuri sat beside a beautiful blonde in her art class, tapping her fingers on the wooden paint stained desk. Her short brown hair was pulled back in a messy pony tail while behind her ear was a paintbrush.

"I am never going to get art!" She said. "This is just too hard."

The blonde smiled.

"It's not as hard as you're making it out to be…besides, all you have to do is draw a forest right?"

She nodded.

"But a forest is hard! I keep making the twigs different shapes and the leaves are just so small…"

He sighed.

"But I don't see anything on your paper."

"That's cuz I threw it out."

"Imperfections make the art interesting." He said. "I'm Deidara by the way, yeah."

"I'm Matsuri." She looked over at his own art. "Oh wow! You did that?"

He nodded.

"An ocean with an intense sunset-I used charcoal actually."

"Well I'm very impressed with your art."

He smiled.

"Really, yeah? Well, seeing as we're getting along oh so well…go out with me tonight, yeah?"

Matsuri smiled, her cheeks flushing just a bit.

"Well since you're so cute how can I say no?"

"You can't."

Sai, from his seat behind them grunted rather loudly.

"Will you take your flirting elsewhere I am trying to tone my skills."

Deidara waved a hand at him.

"Yeah, Sai over here wants to make all anime-otaku's fantasies come true."

"Huh?"

Sai coughed, his dark emotionless eyes shinning for just a moment.

"No. I wish to become a manga-ka you transvestite."

"Manga-ka?"

He nodded.

"Yes. And to do so I need to tone my skills as such so I will say this once and I hope you take it to heart." He smiled and with the kindest softest voice said: "Shut your damn mouths before I do it for you."

Deidara rolled his eyes and complied, not wanting to relive the _INCIDENT_ while Matsuri promptly closed her mouth after paling significantly. You see, when Sai ever put an effort in saying anything with a smile, even if you didn't really know him, it usually had such vast amounts of killer intent that you had to comply.

"Good."

--

Naruto groaned as he slid lower into the driver seat, adjusting it just so. He had let Kiba drive them to the vet, seeing as he was still groggy from sleeping through Genma's language arts class, and just too lazy to drive.

If he had known that Kiba would adjust his seat so that the back was nearly lying on the back seat, he would have driven himself.

"Stupid Kiba." He said as he finally fixed it. He sat up straight, started the car and pulled out of the parking space onto the road where, to his dismay, was enough traffic to choke a horse. "Well at least I filed up the tank before school…damn it! I'm gonna be stuck in traffic for a good hour!"

He gripped the steering wheel in both hands trying to decide a decisive course of action. He could take the highway if he got over, but that would take him into Sasori's neighborhood where he could wait until the traffic subsided but- where there was Sasori, Tobi wasn't far behind and where there was Tobi, there was Lee playing soccer _with_ Tobi…

He groaned.

"Why is it that the only way out of traffic hell involves a half hour of driving and spending too much time with hyperactive idiots?"

Well isn't that the pot calling the kettle black…

Before he could whine further he heard the familiar chimes of his phone. He looked at the cell's screen and groaned further as it read home.

"Hey Iruka…Leaf Trail…I know there's traffic…Dad called?...I'll be home in about an hour…yeah. Bye."

He hung up the phone and with another groan got over and made it onto the highway. He'd deal with Tobi and Lee for an hour just to avoid his father.

"Mr. Big CEO finally has time for me? Yeah right."

AUTHORS NOTE

Sera: Not as funny but it sets up the major part of the story so it was needed. Sorry it took so long to get up but I was debating on what certain characters this should center on more and who to leave as secondary comic relief characters.

As you can see it will be more Naruto in this chapter dealing with Daddy isues which will get more comedic as it goes on, Sai will have a bigger part in his isues as well since he's such a great guy.

And Sasuke?

Yes, despite him not appearing at all he will have a giant combacko as…the comic relief guy. The one that bad things just happen to just to be funny.

And yes, he will, of couoorse get to make his dream cake.

Also the pairings, except for SasuIno, are not set. Review on who you want paired and you might just see it.-and if you're itching for a slight crossover of your favorite characters from other shows I might make it happen with a review.

Sasuke: So review if you want more.

Sera: It speaks.

Sasuke: Oh shut up!


	8. Art and Family: What a Drag Part 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters but the plot is MINE all MINE!**

**Sasuke: Hit by inspiration?**

**Sera: Yes sir.**

**Sasuke: And what about me? Have you forgotten the cake?**

**Sera: No…**_**no**__**way**_**…**

**Sasuke: Why is it, that the way you just said that, gives me a bad feeling?**

**Sera: Hm? Oh what?**

**Sasuke: What are you planning, Sera?**

**Sera: Planning? Moi? Would **_**I**_** ever?**

**Sasuke: **_**Is**_** Naruto a ramen loving idiot?**

**Sera: Yes.**

**Sasuke:…then Yes, you **_**would**_

**Sera: Brat!**

* * *

Art and Family: What a Drag Part 2

Naruto pulled up to the familiar driveway of Iruka's small house. He noticed, with a grunt, that beside his jeep was the all too flashy and familiar orange Jag that belonged to his father.

He shut off the engine of his car and breathed deeply, trying to calm his nerves. Perhaps they would just forget that he was on his way, maybe even start the awkward dinner without him and then his father would just leave, back to the company and back to his yearly business trips around various parts of the world-but then Naruto had to remind himself that Iruka would scold him for not showing up…and the fact that he was already in the driveway.

"Damnit." He said, grabbing his school bag and phone before slamming his car door. "Maybe I can invite someone over for dinner." He scanned his address book on his cell before pressing call when he found the desired number. "Hello?"

'_Hello?'_ Sasuke asked pressing his blue cell in one hands while checking the temperature of the stove in the other. He was wearing his mothers cream colored apron, which was now covered in flour and sugar. _'Naruto?'_

"Yeah, it's me. Hey, I was wondering if you'd like to come over to Iruka's and have dinner."

Sasuke shifted the phone to his other ear before scanning the cook book on the messy counter. _'Are you asking me out? I'm flattered!'_ Sasuke said with his most sarcastic tone.

"I'm **SERIOUS** bastard! My Father has decided to check up on me. At least with you there he wont be so inclined to baby me."

'_Sorry Dope, I'd really love to save you from your daddy but I'm a bit busy…'_

"Aw Sa-SU-ke…please?"

'_Damnit!'_ Sasuke suddenly yelled into the phone almost causing Naruto to drop it. _'You idiot! My soufflé is __**RUINED**__!'_ The Uchiha whined then hung up the phone.

Naruto stared at it for a moment.

"Soufflé?"

"Hey Uzumaki!" A young girl with buns in her hair yelled from across the street. She was holding a leash where, strangely enough instead of her poodle was a monkey.

He stared at it.

It stared at him.

"Uh…hey TenTen. C'mon over…I wanna take a look at the monkey of yours."

The girl smiled and crossed the small street tugging along BoB the monkey whom waddle with his hands swinging in the air. BoB was currently wearing a lime green t-shirt that said "Is not King" in bold letters written in orange

"This is BoB. I rescued him from the clutches of Deidara whom was going to stuff him in Smexy's locker during lunch."

"Smexy?"

"Gaara."

Naruto sighed deeply. He'd, for the moment, forgotten about seeing his father but the moment that TenTen used the word smexy, he'd remembered. This being due to the fact that when his father had made a rare appearance at school to pick him up the young girls had dubbed him the Smexiest adult they'd ever seen.

Naruto of course had been mortified.

"Hey TenTen, just wondering…would you like to have dinner here with me?"

The girl with buns in her hair thought about it for a moment before her stomach growled along with BoB tugging at his leash. "Uh…sure. As long as BoB gets some food too. My parents went out to eat for their anniversary and I was kind of left to fend for myself."

"That's great." He said taking the leash from her hands. "My Father decided to visit me and it's so awkward all the time. You know, he's just such a goof, has the attention span of a five year old and is just so loud…I mean how annoying."

TenTen laughed nervously and scratched the back of her head incidentally BoB mirrored her movements. "Yeah…how annoying?" She asked though Naruto did notice. How could she tell him that he was exactly like his father and not piss him off?

After opening the garage and leading TenTen and BoB inside, Naruto stopped suddenly then motioned her to follow him into his bedroom down the hall. TenTen walked quickly behind him but caught some of the pictures that adorned the striped hallway walls. Pictures of Iruka in a pumpkin costume when he was just a kid beside a boy in a ninja costume that looked like her biology teacher Kakashi Hatake, a picture of Iruka's graduation, one of a five year old Naruto with his parents and Iruka on a deep green couch smiling brightly on a Christmas morning, and one with Naruto and his father standing in front of a large house, Naruto was smiling along with his father awkwardly. TenTen noted, as she and BoB entered Naruto's bedroom, that the smiles seemed so serene in the holiday picture but the last one, with just Naruto and his father seemed odd. Their smiles were too white and strained.

"So, why into your bedroom?" She asked sitting on the edge of the twin sized bed. Her fingers splayed over the bright orange sheets while BoB had begun to amuse himself with toying with a frog push toy that he'd found tossed on the floor. "Is Iruka not home?"

"No, he's home, with my Father probably in the den having a drink before dinner."

"Yeah?"

He nodded.

"Yup."

"So tell me, what is it with you and your dad…wait…Naruto…where is BoB?"

The blonde looked around the room and noticed that BoB wasn't there. He looked at the opened bedroom door and paled. "Maybe they haven't noticed."

_**Bang! Crash! Slam!**_

"**OOH OOH AHH AHH**!"

"**AIEEE**!"

"**NARUTO**!!!!!"

TenTen and Naruto sat in silence for a moment.

"Did Iruka just scream like a woman?"

Naruto shook his head.

"That was my Father."

"Oh…"

"**AIIIEEEEEEE IT'S ON MY LAP**!"

_**Thud!**_

"**OH MY GOD! ARASHI JUST FAINTED**!!!"

BoB waddled into the bedroom with a tomato in his hands looking triumphant. Naruto stood and shut the door slowly then sat beside TenTen on the bed.

"So…wanna wait for Iruka to come for us or sneak out the window?"

"Window."

So the two teens plus monkey snuck out the window and drove off in Naruto's car leaving a chaotic house behind.

* * *

**AN: HAHAHA BoB is evil. Naruto's father's name is Arashi. Sorry I took so long I had to get a new keyboard since my old one decided t die on me.**

**Next Episode of Le Phoenix: the Deidara Matsuri date from the page before turns ugly when Gaara makes an appearance, Naruto and TenTen lose BoB in the restaurant, and Sai makes a rumor that leaves Sakura green with envy and as violent as a Rhino in heat.**

**With a Review I'll see you then!**

**Sasuke: SO I wont be in the next page?**

**Sera: Maybe.**

**Sasuke: Review!**


	9. Art and Family: What a Drag Part 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters but the plot is MINE all MINE!**

**Sasuke: By the preview for this chapter from the last chapter I assume that I wont make even a small appearance.**

**Sera: No, you will.**

**Sasuke: And Ino?**

**Sera:…Oh you'll see.**

**Sasuke: Why do I feel so nervous…like doom is near.**

**Sera: That's just me.**

**Sasuke: Oh…**

* * *

Art and Family: What a Drag Part 3

Matsuri was dressed in a pale blue dress that she had borrowed from her cousin Sakura, for her date with Deidara. The blue heels pinched her toes, her arms and legs were bared just a bit too much, her makeup which consisted of blue shadow and a pale pink lip gloss annoyed her and her hair was pulled too tightly in it's bun with two annoying chopsticks.

But, with the compliments that she received and the smile that graced Deidara's face, she felt like she could handle it.

"Wow this is a nice restaurant, are you sure you can afford this?" Matsuri asked eyeing the menu.

"Sure yeah. I come here all the time, yeah."

"This was really nice of you. To ask me out since I'm new and all."

Deidara smirked.

"Well you seem like such a nice person that I wanted to get to know you. And you're so pretty, yeah."

She blushed.

Deidara smiled.

Gaara Gagged.

Wait, **Gaara**?

Deidara looked at the redhead whom stood beside their table wearing a bored expression. He narrowed his eyes. "**Subaku**."

"**Transvestite**." Gaara said in a nonchalant type of way before holding out his notepad and pencil. "So what'll it be?"

"Maki-zushi and Kombucha tea." Matsuri said closing her menu.

"And for the **She**-_Man_?"

Deidara gritted his teeth.

"I'll have Udon and Sake, yeah."

"_No_, you're underage."

Deidara bit his tongue.

"Fine then some tea, yeah."

"What kind?"

Deidara fisted his hands.

"Well what kind do you have almighty maître d, yeah?"

Gaara smirked at Deidara before reciting, slowly, the different kinds of teas along with all the other kinds of drinks they carried, Japanese, Chinese, and American.

By the time he was done Deidara had to restrain himself from jumping over the table and killing the redhead.

"Well then…I'll have, I can't believe I'm saying this, Ramune." He closed his menu slowly and lightly placed it on the table. He let out a sigh in relief to be getting rid of the red head.

But Gaara just stood there.

"Why are you still here, yeah?"

Gaara smirked.

"What flavor?"

Deidara's head met with the table and Matsuri giggled nervously.

* * *

Naruto and TenTen along with BoB sat not too far from where Deidara was experiencing his breakdown.

"Don't you work here Naruto?" TenTen asked pulling nervously at her gym shorts and t-shirt. 'Why'd everyone have to look so fancy in this joint?' She thought.

"Yeah, but I have off today. Besides this place has the best food in town." He said with a big smile. "Well, except Ichiraku's ramen bar…no one can compete with that."

"I wouldn't think so." TenTen said holding BoB on her lap. "Are you sure BoB is allowed inside?"

"Actually I was going to drop him off in Gaara's office to wreak havoc there…as a late joke, you know?"

"Gaara had an office?"

Naruto nodded.

"His parents own the place but rarely look after it, so Gaara usually runs it. Heck of a business man he is-doesn't let his siblings near it."

TenTen nodded.

"Ah. So that makes him your boss?"

"Yeah." The blonde said. He stood up and picked up the monkey from the girls lap. "I'll be right back…order whatever you like."

TenTen smiled before looking down at her menu, that is until she heard someone shout.

"**RAMUNE**! **FLAVOR**? **WHICH** **ONE**? **I'LL SHOW YOU WHICH ONE YOU SADISTIC FREAK**, **YEAH**!"

She turned around to see Deidara jump across the table at Gaara, a girl with blue looking on horrified and Kiba Inuzuka, holding a tray, laughing his ass off.

"What a weird restaurant."

* * *

After Naruto shut the door to Gaara's office, he checked his cell and found at least 12 missed calls from Iruka, his Father and one from Sasuke-more then likely the latter one was about another dish gone bad.

Naruto snickered as he passed said Uchiha whom was too busy to notice him as he was currently finishing off his latest piece of work, some type of dessert.

He made his way back to the table, taking note of a fuming Deidara, and angry girl in a blue dress and a smug Gaara.

"What'd I miss?" He asked as he sat back down. He stared at the food in front of him and at TenTen whom was enjoying some type of Soba. "You ordered for me?"

She nodded.

"Well you took so long. I hope you don't mind Tempura."

"Not at all." He said digging in only to pause for a moment. "Hey TenTen, who was the waiter?"

"Sai."

"Oh. Did you tell him who you were with?" He asked slowly.

"Yeah. Is that a problem?"

He shrugged.

"Nope just wondering…hey TenTen?"

"Yeah."

"Do you by chance get the feeling that something really bad is about to happen?"

She nodded.

"Not until you said anything."

Before the blonde could explain further there was a loud crash from the kitchen, a scream then another scream, from Sasuke, of: **NO! NOT THE CAKE!**

Everyone in the restaurant was quiet.

**OOH OOH AHH AHH!**

TenTen and Naruto stood slowly leaving a few bills behind before slowly walking out of the restaurant.

"What do you think will happen to BoB?"

Naruto shrugged.

"I don't know."

A few moments later said Monkey walked out of the chaos holding, this time, a cupcake in his hand and following the blonde and brunette.

* * *

**Next Episode of Le Phoenix: Sai calls Sakura about the "date" TenTen had with Naruto, Matsuri is fought over like a piece of meat, literally, Sasuke and Ino share a romantic day together with BoB(?) and Sasori faces off with an old enemy once again-Shukaku the evil Raccoon pet of the Subaku family.**

**With a Review I'll see you then! Only with a review!**

**Sasuke: REVIEW! My CAKE will be avenged!**

**Sera:…**

**Sasuke: What?**


	10. Art and Family: What a Drag Part 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters but the plot is MINE all MINE!**

**Sasuke: Final for chapter 2 right?**

**Sera: Right**

**Sasuke: So will I get to avenge my dead cake?**

**Sera: And then some.**

**Sasuke: Excellent **

**Sera: And I'm crossing over with other anime characters! **

**Sasuke: Isn't that a bit much?**

**Sera: Not really, I'm keeping it to only **_**maybe**__**possibly**_** three?**

**Sasuke: **_**Maybe**__**Possibly**__**Probably**_**? Bull! You're going to **_**overshadow**_** me-forget **_**my**_** existence-**_**replace**_** me! I'll bet it's those Hitachiin twins!**

**Hikaru: That maybe…**

**Kaoru:…the likelihood…**

**Hikaru & Kaoru…of your situation Duck head.**

**Sasuke: -**_**twitches-**_** so they are already replacing me?**

**Sera: No, I rented them to torture you.**

**Hikaru & Kaoru: On with the crazy lady's story!**

**Sasuke: That's my line!**

* * *

Art and Family: What a Drag Part 4 (The Drags Conclusion)

When Matusri got home she was surprised to find that Sakura sitting in front of the TV, ice cream in arm, tears on her face as she watched the ending of some soap opera where the main character had just confessed to being his own girlfriends twin brother.

"Uh, Saku-Chan, what is this?" She asked hesitantly as she removed her shoes and shut the front door. It'd been almost a week since the horrendous date-which from then on she'd decided to avoid Deidara as much as possible. Sure in the beginning they were friendly but after that, she'd decided that even calling by name was too much. So Sempai was his new name. "Why are you crying on what I sleep on? Didn't I tell you to beat it when I got home from working?"

The pink haired girl looked at her apologetically for a moment before collecting her things.

"Sorry. I just wanted to watch TV on the big screen…um, Matsuri?"

Matsuri threw her wet jacket on the couch.

"What?"

"Do you think that TenTen and Naruto look good together?"

"What?"

Sakura sighed.

"Do they look good together?"

"Like a couple?"

"Yeah?"

Matsuri shrugged.

"Sure, I guess. Why?"

Sakura's eyes widened then lowered and she bang to softly talk, more to herself then to her cousin.

"So that's it then, huh? I was too late after all."

Matsuri caught her cousins words and sighed.

"So you like him then?"

Sakura said nothing, holding onto the carton of ice cream, Matsuri continued to talk.

"If you like him you should just tell him instead mope around like some idiot. Besides, they **aren't** even dating."

"You're right then…"

"Of course I am."

Sakura smiled, the shadows on her face seemed something ominous and Matsuri stepped back.

"**I'LL TAKE THAT CUTE BLONDE BY FORCE**!!!!!!! **KUKUKUKUKUKU**!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"_GAK_! Sakura! Calm down!"

But the pink haired girl kept laughing.

"**HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW**!!!!!!"

Naruto, still grounded because of the monkey went through a sneezing fit. He wiped his nose.

"Damnit! I hate cold season!"

Iruka looked up at him from across the table and smiled.

"Actually someone might be talking about you."

"Or scheming."

"Or that."

"**ACHOO**! _Argh_! Damnit!"

* * *

"Ah Shikamaru! W-what's up?" Hinata asked from her seat. It was lunch break and she'd decided to stay in class with her lunch. It was rare that she have any time to herself.

The boy just stood there, his usually impassive eyes were focused on her and his mouth was in a tight line.

"Shikamaru?"

He took her bento and opened it, revealing her modest lunch, he sighed.

"Mind if I eat here with you? Naruto's driving me crazy with his stupid pet monkey."

"M-monkey?"

He nodded, pulling a chair to her desk he placed his lunch bag on the desk, he pulled out the contents of the bag, an apple, potato chips, three sandwiches, a cookie and a Dr. Pibb.

"Trade your bento for my lunch?"

She nodded.

"S-sure."

"They seem to be rather cozy…"

"…but in reality she is **HIS** "love" interest…"

"I almost forgot that Kaoru."

Two identical twins stared at the couple from the opened doorway. Eyes holding a bit of mischief as they walk away from the scene developing a new game to play.

"Hey you two!"

They turned around staring at the stranger, pointing to themselves at the same time with the exact same expression. "Me?" both said simultaneously.

"Yeah you. Have you seen a monkey waddle through here with a tube full of red chemicals?"

"Mon-key?" They asked.

"Yes."

**BOOM**!

"Uh…crap!" The girl with buns in her hair ran past them to the science wing of the school. "Damnit BoB I can't afford this!"

"Kaoru?"

"Yes Hikaru?"

"Do you see opportunity here?"

"Yes…yes I do."

And the two Hitachiin twins followed the bun haired girl to the monkey-already scheming it seemed.

* * *

As Sasuke was brusquely making his way into the school, he was late because of a fight that lasted until four in the morning with Ino, was rudely interrupted by none other then a blonde idiot in his way. Now, normally the Uchiha would just shove his way into the building but staring at said blonde he was left utterly perplexed.

"Aren't you a little young to be here, kid?"

"Hm, me?"

Sasuke nodded.

"Yes you. Are you lost?"

The 'kid' nodded. He held his pink bunny tighter to his chest.

"I was on my way to the seniors building but there was an explosion and I got lost-my cousin is usually with me but we were separated."

'_The boy's going to the Seniors building?'_ Sasuke though before taking the 'boys' hand and leading him in the other direction, towards the seniors building. "I'll take you. A little kid like you is bound to get into trouble."

The 'Little Kid' nodded, letting himself be guided to the wing with a smile.

"You sure are nice! What's your name?"

"Sasuke Uchiha."

"U-chi-ha."

"Yeah, Uchiha."

The 'Little Kid' smiled brightly almost making Sasuke blush at his cuteness.

"You can call me Hunny!"

They reached the seniors building in no time, Sasuke was slightly dejected at being horrendously late to class but shrugged it off, the day wasn't looking to be good to him anyway and besides that he'd helped the most adorable kid had ever met.

"Thank you Sas-U-ke!"

Before Sasuke could say anything the door swung opened and a monkey bounded into his chest, a very familiar monkey, followed a very tall and scary looking guy.

"Takashi!" Hunny bounded onto the giant. "This is Sas-U-ke U-chi-ha, he brought me here when I was lost!"

Takashi nodded towards the Uchiha then looked back at Hunny.

"Mitsukuni you're late for class."

"Mitsukuni?"

Takashi nodded and Hunny smiled pointing to himself.

"Oh my real name is Mitsukuni Haninozuka!"

'_Mitsukuni Haninozuka? __**THE**__ Mitsukuni Haninozuka-former c__aptain of the High school Karate Club-the guy that Itachi looks up to?'_ Sasuke paled more if possible and felt himself waver. "Oh…that's nice…"

"Hey! U-chi-ha is just like Ita-Chan's last name! Are you Ita-Chan's brother?"

Sasuke nodded.

"Uh-huh."

"You really don't look that much alike, Sasu-Chan."

Which was ridiculous because they looked exactly alike, however Sasuke was twitching from his endearing new nickname. _'Sasu-Chan?'_

"You should come here and meet us after school! We'll have cakes and then we'll play and then-" Hunny went on and on. Sasuke dimly aware that he held his arch-rival, the evil monkey cake murderer.

"Ok. Bye Sasu-Chan!"

And then he was alone with the monkey.

"**OHH** **OHH****AHH** **AHH**!"

"What a fascinating afternoon."

* * *

"Now if you would please open up to page thirty seven we can get started and some well deserved book work…Principle Tsunade and the superintendent have gotten on my case about the lack of work…anyway, finish the vocab, skim through the passage I really don't care." And with that Kakashi, geography teacher, opened his book and began reading.

"How does he expect us to work in this class when he refuses to teach regularly like a normal teacher?" Ino asked herself as she began to skim the pages for the vocabulary words. She looked towards her left where Sakura sat, obviously already done with the work, skimming through a pink book, one the eerily looked like something their teacher read. She nudged the pink haired girl. "What the hell are you reading?"

Sakura blanched and hid the book in her lap.

"Reading? I'm not reading anything…hahahaha….what's up?"

Ino's eyes narrowed.

"Yeah ok…so I hear that you've made it your mission to be Naruto's girlfriend."

"W-where'd you hear something like that?"

"Around." Ino said. She placed her pencil on her desk and straightened. "Seriously Sakura, do you even like him?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

"Because it's so sudden." Ino answered shutting her book. "It's like as soon as Sasuke and I start dating you want Naruto whereas before you kind of hated him."

"Well," Sakura whispered. "it's not like that, I like him. He's really good-looking, he's funny and he's super rich…what's not to like. I'm tired of being the odd one out."

"But you aren't."

The bell rang signaling the end of class. Sakura stood, grabbing her books and hurried out the classroom. "It's none of _your_ business Ino."

-

"Why would she want to date a **GIRL** like you?"

"Uh…"

"As if she'd date a **sadistic** no **eyebrows** **eyeliner** wearing **freak**!"

"…I'm right here…"

"**Freak**? As least _I_ dress to my own **gender**!"

"…excuse me…I can…"

"What are you trying to say you _Emo_ **Freak**?"

"That you look like a woman, _She_-**Man**!"

"Do **not**!"

"Hey…"

"Do **too**!"

"**CUT IT OUT**!"

If you're wondering what was going on…Gaara called Deidara a gender confused She-Male while Deidara called Gaara a Sadistic Emo Freak while both tugged at Matsuri.

"I **CANT SPEAK FOR MYSELF DAMNIT AND LET ME GO**!"

They both let her go, still staring one another down. Matsuri straightened her skirt before pointing an accusing finger at both boys. "First of all what give either of you the right to claim me? Last I checked I only went out with you **ONCE** and you! I met you when you ruined my date with Sempai, Gaara! Honestly, you're both imbeciles to even assume that I would date either of you in fact you know what! I like someone else!"

"What?" Both boys asked at the same time.

"Yup…I…I…I like…**HIM**!" She pointed to a random guy in the crowd of people staring. He was rather tall and had bright eyes and perfect hair…you see where this is going don't you?

"Me?"

"Yes **YOU**!"

"**HIM**?!?"

"But Matsuri how?"

Matsuri walked up to the stranger and linked arms with him-who turned out to be non other then Tamaki Suou-fellow classmate to Gaara and nephew of the principle-sworn enemy (One-sided) of Deidara.

"Just pretend like you like me back so I can get away from those two maniacs." Matsuri whispered.

Tamaki smiled and with his most charming smile held her around the waist.

"Yes…Princess."

'_Princess? What the hell have I just gotten myself into?'_

* * *

"So then Akamaru clawed at his face! Can you believe that Shino? Poor Tobi-Sempai! He shouldn't have work that mask to practice!"

Shino nodded.

"Ya know you can say something. It's a little annoying with you just nodding and I cant even see your eyes behind those sunglasses."

Another nod.

"Shino."

Nod.

"Hey Shino?"

Nod.

The sunglasses lowered at bit to show a snoozing Shino, Kiba fumed.

"Well **FK YOU** then!" He said, getting up from his lunch seat and stalking away towards Lee and a bandaged up Tobi, muttering. "Damn ass-hole."

"You say something Kiba?" Shino asked finally waking up.

* * *

Sasori pulled up to the Sabaku residence with a bit of apprehension. The last time that he had been there was when Shukaku had tried to eat his face, which Sasori still remembered as though it were yesterday.

It wasn't like he want to be there in the first place, at the moment, his darling fellow classmate Tobi had declared that he would go and make sure that Temari was doing ok, since she was home sick. When he had asked Itachi why he couldn't, Itachi replied that he and Temari had had a fight.

He got out of the jeep and made his way, thought the opened garage door inside the house. The sick girl knew he was coming over so it wasn't as though he were breaking in this time.

They had a modest home which was, distastefully in drab colors or burgundy and tan. He noticed the litter box and shuddered in remembrance.

"Err rawr.."

He stiffened.

"Oh God."

"rrrr."

"No."

He turned around to see the evil beady little eyes of the Raccoon Demon pet. It stared at him and licked it's lips.

'_Is it smirking?'_

"Oh hey Sasori what's goin…on?"

A moment too late Temari stepped down the stairs to see Sasori face down in the litter box with Shukaku nibbling at his now broken pant leg.

"Get it off!"

"**OH MY GOD**! Shukaku **GET DOWN**!"

* * *

The bell rang indication that the school day was over. Lee and Kiba along with Tobi were chatting much to Neji and Shino's chagrin, TenTen and Naruto were looking around as though they had lost something, I wonder what…

Sakura was watching the two, Ino wasn't far behind along with Matsuri and her new 'friend' that she hadn't been able to shake off named Tamaki. Gaara and Deidara were arguing as per usual as the two Hitachiin twins were busy teasing Haku with Choji in tow.

When everyone else had all but disappeared Shikamaru pulled at Hinata's hand halting her departure after her cousin and his friends. He didn't look at her.

"Shikamaru?"

His dark eye finally landed on her.

"I like you, will you go out with me?"

"I knew it was about a girl." Choji said as Naruto's mouth hung opened almost past his knees.

* * *

**Next Episode of Le Phoenix: Hinata's answer is interrupted by her fiancée?!? Sakura asks Naruto out, the Hitachiin twins going forces with Kankuro the prank king and Neji FINALLY makes his appearance as a HOST!?!**

**(What Choji meant is from Chapter 1 remember when he said that Shikamaru's behavior was about a girl and Naruto said no because Shikamaru was too lazy? Yeah well Choji was right!)**

**With a Review I'll see you then! Only with a review!**

**Sasuke: That was Host congested!**

**Sera:…well there is a point to that.**

**Sasuke: What?**

**Sera: I needed a bit more comedic characters to lighten up the seriousness to this chapter besides, the FAN GIRLS love Ouran High Host Club!**

**Sasuke: Ch! Whatever! It wont last!**

**Hikaru & Kaoru: You're just jealous Duck Head.**

**Sasuke: SHUT UP!**

**Hikaru: Review…**

**Kaoru:…so that Hikaru and I have a chance to show our brotherly love.**

**Hikaru:…Kaoru! **_**–grabs Kaoru-**_** If you wanted to demonstrate our brotherly love you could have just asked.**

**Kaoru: -**_**in Hikaru's arms- **_**Hikaru!**

**Sasuke:…W-we don't need them in the story!**

**Sera: **_**-Fainted from fangirlism-**_

**Hikaru & Kaoru: So you say but your nose is bleeding.**

**Sasuke: Damnit!**

**REVIEW!**


	11. Fun Fun: At Konoha Mall Part 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters but the plot is MINE all MINE!**

**Hikaru: Hey Kaoru?**

**Kaoru: What is it Hikaru?**

**Hikaru: Where is Duck Head?**

**Sera: Oh Sasuke? He's around here somewhere pouting about the flames of youth being taken from him…I swear he spends too much time with Lee.**

**Hikaru & Kaoru: So since our new toy has gone lets start the story!**

**Sasuke: **_**-suddenly appeared- **_**I am not your TOY!**

-- _(Be warned it starts off a little dramatic…but don't worry the humor will return)—(RANDOM CHAPTER)_

"I like you, will you go out with me?"

Hinata's mind formed a blank. Her heart leapt for some unknown reason. She stared at her friend whom seemed as impassive and agitated as ever, however, she noted his cheeks were lightly stained pink. She didn't know what to do.

She saw her cousin's face, contoured first in surprise then something else. He looked away, and then she realized what she had to say.

"Shikamru…I-"

"Her answer is no."

Shikamaru looked up at the owner of the smooth cool voice. The boy, he recognized, as an upperclassman that he'd seen Sasuke with countless time, however he couldn't put a name to him. He was relatively good looking, more so then Sasuke-in the cool sense. His glasses shone a bit too brightly hiding his eyes as he hiked them up further with his middle finger.

"Who are you to answer for her?"

The glasses guy gave Hinata a '_what were you thinking, doesn't he know why_?' look before answering Shikamaru. "Who me? Her _fiancé_ of course." The boy with glasses smiled

"Fiancé?"

"Yes."

Hinata hadn't said a word, she didn't think she could really say anything anyways. When she saw **him** walk up she assumed it would end badly-though they were betrothed they harbored no romantic feelings for one another. Sure **he** was a Host and sure she liked Naruto, but that never meant she'd date another boy just as sure **he** wouldn't date another girl. They weren't really allowed to, that much _both_ their parents made clear.

What had she been thinking, anyway? Even considering Shikamaru's question, she didn't even like him, right?

"That's enough, Shikamaru gets the message." Neji said then turned to Shikamaru, who still held Hinata's hand. "Don't you, Shikamaru?"

Shikamaru nodded and slowly let go. He looked at his feet, embarrassment written all over his features before looking up at the sky.

"Troublesome."

Hinata watched as Shikamaru walked away, with Haku and Choji in tow not speaking while Naruto spewed forth many questions.

Neji stood beside them, staring in the same direction as his cousin before facing her fiancé with a smile so fake it made Sai's appear warm.

"Good to see you again, Ootori-Sempai."

-

CHAPTER 3 (**FUN FUN AT THE KONOHA MALL.)**

-

"So where should we go to after we have our lunch?" Ino asked from Sasuke's side. She was latched onto his arm staring up at the menu of the Hovan Stand at the mall. "What do you think Sasuke?"

"What about the new store Loli-Game? There are supposed to be really great clothes there…we could pick up something cute for you to wear, I think."

That was music to Ino's ears.

Loli-Game was a brand new shop that opened up the week before. The clothes weren't too horribly expensive and were the best.

"Really Sasuke?"

He nodded.

"Really."

And it was even better that Sasuke's aunt Rin, Obito's wife, owned it.

"Well well if it isn't Ino Pig." Sakura piped up behind them, shopping bags in hand. "Hi Sasuke-Kun."

"Hey Forehead, what's up?"

Sakura sipped her slushy.

"Nothing much, just shopping to clear the mind-my cousins are driving me up the wall…first it's Matsuri coming to live with us and then it's the demon twins Hikaru and Kaoru who decide that they want to move in too…my living room has become the fourth pit of iniquity-the first being Naruto's bedroom, the second Sasuke-Kun's train wreck and the third being Bei-Jia District."

"Bei-Jia?"

"…Naruto took me there for a festival once and well…just don't ask…the festival turned out to be a…well that's not the point!"

"My car is not a train wreck."

"And hell isn't hot." Sakura said sarcastically. She tried to lift her hand to look at her watch but her bags were just too heavy. "Damn…what time is it?"

Sasuke looked at his cell.

"About four thirty."

"Oh shoot! I was supposed to meet those evil twins an hour ago at Spencer's! I'll see you guys later ok?" And Sakura sped off in a flurry of shopping bags and bubble gum pink hair.

Sasuke stifled a yawn.

"You don't think my car is a train wreck, do you?"

"Uh…weren't we going to go to Loli-Game?" Ino said running off in the opposite direction of the store _and_ Sasuke.

"**HEY**! I was talking to you!"

"Huh what was that? **Run** _faster_?" And she did.

"**HEY**!"

Naruto, whom was calmly talking to Matsuri, whom was behind the counter of Blue Wave-a popular sporting goods store-noticed hurricane Ino and hurricane Sasuke speed by. He smirked. "That's how ya get the girl Sasuke! You make her run!"

Matsuri smacked him on the back of the head.

"Arent you supposed to be sweet talking me?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "Sweet talking you? Why Matsuri, I didn't know you felt that way!" He clasped a hand over his heart. "My lovely Matsuri!"

Her eye twitched. "Oh ha ha ha, very funny Naruto…what I meant by sweet talking was to make my new shadow go away." She pointed to the good-looking blond with grape colored eyes standing behind her-he'd somehow weaseled himself into getting a job with her and was attracting a slew of female costumers. "You're the boss man right? Your dad owns this shop…can't you, ya know, fire him?"

"No."

"No?"

Naruto shrugged. "So he's a little annoying-yet he's bringing in tons of new costumers, and that's always a plus-besides…"

"Besides what?"

Naruto smirked.

"He's my cousin."

Just as her world couldn't get any worse, a voice piped in behind her.

"Ah cousin, thank you for finally getting me this job, I've been trying to figure out how commoners make their money."

"Commoners?" Matsuri asked.

Naruto nodded in agreement to his cousin while Matsuri felt herself fade to the background.

"Yeah I know! And can ya believe it Tamaki, they drink instant coffee!"

"Instant? What, are the beans special?"

"That's the thing! There are no beans!"

"No beans? That is unheard of!"

Matsuri rolled her eyes at there conversation and said, at the same time as a short brown haired boy: "Rich bastards."

Both stared at one another.

"I'm Matsuri."

"Haruhi Fujioka."

"Nice meeting you." Matsuri said, shaking hands. "So is there anything that I can help you with?"

Haruhi nodded, handing Matsuri the desired item. A bottle of perfume called Wave.

"A gift for a girl?"

"Uh…something like that."

Matsuri rung up the item.

"That comes up to thirty dollars and twenty five cents."

Haruhi handed her the money.

"I see you're working with Tamaki-sempai."

"Yeah…it's an experience."

"I'll bet. Well, thank you and I'll see you around Matsuri."

"Nice meeting you Haruhi."

As she watched Haruhi walk out the store, with a ding as the door shut behind the brunette, Matsuri suddenly felt dread.

"Uh…"

Naruto pounced, hugging Matsuri tightly, spinning.

"You're so **CUTE** Matsuri! You're so **GOOD** with the customers!"

"Gyaah!"

Tamaki joined in.

"Good! Good! **Very Good**!"

"**G-GET OFFA ME**!"

From the other side of the mall, Haku was enjoying himself gabbing about his new clothes while Gaara sat on the bench beside him, reading.

"And can you believe that whore at that shop actually thought I wore extensions? Does my hair look like it belongs on a horse to you?"

"No."

"Then that guy had the nerve to ask me out! What do I look like, some girl?"

At that, Gaara closed his book and stared at his androgynous friend and quirked a would be eyebrow. "Do you really want me to answer that or lie to make you feel better?"

"Lie."

"Okay, then no, you do not look like a girl, and do me a favor."

"What?"

"Stop having bitch fit."

Haku blushed.

"Was I?"

"Yeah."

"Sorry."

"Hey guys!" Ino said from behind their bench. Her breathing was haggard slightly. "Are you guys doing anything right now?"

"No." Gaara answered, stuffing his newly bought book into his messenger bag. "Why?"

"Well I need a ride home."

"Where's Sasuke?"

Ino blushed.

"Well that's the thing…you see I kinda said his car was a train wreck and now he's super pissed at me and chasing me around the mall."

Haku nodded.

"So instead of being a mature adult you're just going to run away from him in hopes that he'll be over it by tomorrow?"

"Yeah?"

Gaara smirked.

"Oh, well he'll be over it all right…he'll just be pissed at you for ditching him, but then again…Haku and I have nothing to do right now so well take you home after we get something to eat. Deal?"

"Deal."

The three skulked out t the mall, followed closely by Sasuke whom had spotted them which wouldn't be so bad if Ino had not tripped and fallen on Gaara whom had turned around…a pretty picture for Sasuke that **did not** paint.

"Hey what the hell are you doing with **my** girlfriend Sabaku?!?"

"Nothing Uchiha, she fell."

Haku ate a piece of candy.

"Fell? Right?"

"She did."

"Sasuke it was an **accident**!"

Haku walked off then returned with a coke and a pretzel.

"Then why was your **hand** on her **ass**?"

"**WHAT**? She fell, I tried to grab her! Excuse my hand for **accidentally** landing where it **didn't** want to!"

Haku sipped his coke loudly, Ino, having walked form the fight, stood by his side nibbling the offered pretzel.

"You're just a **pervert** Sabaku!"

"**Pervert**! That's it I'm **kickin' your ass**!"

"Bring it on **Chucky**!"

"**DIE**!"

Haku turned to Ino.

"You wanna see a movie?"

"Sure."

And what an exciting time the mall on a Friday…_imagine_ what Saturday is gonna be like.

--

**Next Episode of Le Phoenix: It shopping time and the girls, plus Haku, are trying on clothes, buying shoes and scoping out the competition for their guys (minus Haku whom isn't gay) and what's this? Gaara and Deidara have some competition for Matsuri's heart-but what no one knows is that Matsuri's crush is actually a GIRL? Find out next chapter of Le Phoenix! **

**With a Review I'll see you then! Only with a review!**

**Sasuke: My car is no train wreck.**

**Sera:…sure…but it's cool anyway.**

**Sasuke: It's awesome!**

**Sera: It was s dramatic in the beginning.**

**Sasuke: And was random after that.**

**Hikaru & Kaoru: We didn't appear.**

**Sasuke: You were mentioned.**

**Hikaru: Whatever…**

**Kaoru:…duck butt head.**

**Sasuke: SHUT UP!**

**Sera: HAHAHAHAHA!**

**Hikaru & Kaoru: DUCK BUTT! DUCK BUTT! **

**Sasuke: I HATE YOU BOTH!**

**REVIEW!**


	12. Fun Fun: At Konoha Mall Part 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters but the plot is MINE all MINE!**

**Sasuke: Where are the evil twins?**

**Sera: Oh they're plotting soemthing.**

**Sasuke: And you're not afraid?**

**Sera: For you? Maybe.**

**Sasuke: Wait why for me?**

**Sera: Read and review please!**

**Sasuke: Hey listen to me when I'm talking to you! **

-

CHAPTER 3 (**FUN FUN AT THE KONOHA MALL.)Part 2 **

Sakura walked about the mall in a sort of daze. After all, how many people can say that they actually were able to catch up to the Hitachiin twins and get them to behave?

No a lot of people, no madam.

After sending the rambunctious duo home Sakura was left slightly drained of energy, her shopping bags had gone with the boys so she was grateful that she didn't need to carry anything except her messenger bag which was hanging on her shoulder.

She was hungry, annoyed and a bit bored.

Taking the escalator up to the food court where she'd last seen Neji and Lee eating at the Subway, she decided that if nothing else the boys would make good company. Sure Lee sprouted on about how lovely she was and usually it annoyed her but at the moment she needed someone to tell her that she was beautiful-since she felt like such crap.

Reaching the food court she was disappointed to fine no Lee or Neji in sight instead she came upon a group of middle school kids and some yakuza looking boys at the table where Lee had been sitting.

"Great just great when I need my weirdo stalker he's nowhere to be found." She said to herself as she made her way towards an empty table near the arcade. She took out her wallet and counted her cash.

She had thirty five dollars. Enough to see a movie and get a few treats, if that was what she decided to do but then again, what young sixteen year olds went to the movies by themselves? It was simply unheard of.

"How pathetic." She said to herself with a sigh, even if she wanted to she couldn't call Naruto since he was working-and even then she needed to figure out her feelings. Sure she boasted a big game to Matsuri about liking him the night before but when she really thought about it her feelings for him were warm and friendly.

Feelings for potential boyfriends were usually anything but that. In her mind the perfect romance would be nothing but mystery and fire inducing. She wanted drama in a relationship, wanted someone that would make her melt.

Hell, if Sakura had it her way she would have a real life soap opera!

_'I'm in love with you twin brother Rocco! I'm sorry Roderick!' _

Forbidden love!

Alas, Sasuke was taken by Ino and apparently the façade of the Mysterious Prince was non existent. If a little obsessed with humiliating his older brother in futile pranks that never worked and his adept I'm better then you attitude-the only mystery about Sasuke was whether he wore boxers or briefs.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, Sakura had just gotten to know the real Sasuke, who was actually a really nice and goffy guy-when he wasn't trying to be all cool.

It was depressing.

Sighing deeply Sakura placed her money back into her wallet and took out her cell phone. She could call TenTen?

"Oh wait TenTen is with her mom today."

She scrolled over more names in her phone book.

"Tayuya…moved to sound…Kin? Oh hell no. Like I need Shikamaru's ex hounding me about him honestly, how annoying!"

By the time she reached the end of her phone book, which was rather long let me tell you, she'd considered calling Zetsu-sempai since he was the sanest of Itachi's group, but then she remembered that there was a plant convention in Sairo-County-something called _"Leaves of Many Nations"_ so he wouldn't be home.

"Great just great-I have no one!"

"Who has no one?"

Letting out an "eek!" Sakura fell forward out of her chair and into a sturdy chest.

A book fell on the tiled floor with a thump and while the owner was quite perturbed about loosing his place in it he'd decided to tend to the girl in his arms.

"Um, while this is quite a pleasant feeling it is also very inappropriate-so Sakura let go."

Kakashi Hatake stared at the pink haired girl with a smile on his face, though with the mask you'd be hard pressed to realize it. Instead, his visible right eye closed in the way it did when he smiled.

"Kakashi-Sensei you startled me!" Sakura said pushing back away from him. Her cheeks were stained a brilliant red. "I apologize."

He had felt really warm.

"Not a problem."

She felt his muscular chest against her face and palms as they had rested on his sweater covered chest.

"Kakashi-Sensei why were you squatted on the floor in front of me? Were you trying to scare me?"

"Uh…maybe."

And he had smelled so very good. Like coffee and grass.

Picking up his discarded book Kakashi took the seat opposite of Sakura and straightened his green sweater. "So who has no one?"

"Excuse me?"

"Well you were mentioning before." He said closing his book. He'd read more of it later anyway.

Blushing Sakura lowered her head. This was so embarrassing, first she'd fallen on her teacher-though it wasn't so bad- and now she was being questioned about her lack of companions at the moment. It was a bit much.

"Well, what I meant was-that I had no one to hang out with today, everyone I know is either working or on a date or at some convention."

"Zetsu?"

"Yeah." She sighed. "And I know that I shouldn't really care but I wanted to catch a movie but I don't want to go alone. It would look pathetic right?"

Kakashi had been listening intently. The fact that all that was visible about him was his right eye gave her little comfort and she wondered if the rumors from school were true. That he had gotten into some horrible accident when he was just a boy and lost his left eye and was horrendously scarred.

She suddenly wished to see it.

"I don't think it's pathetic. If you want to see a movie then go ahead-besides it's just a dark room no one would see you anyway." He said.

"I know but…"

Seeing her embarrassment written all over her face Kakashi tucked his book into his pocet. He looked at his watch then smoothed back his wild silver hair. "How about I go with you to see whatever movie you would like. You won't be alone and you won't feel pathetic."

"What? Why would you want to?"

He shrugged. "I've got time to kill and it's not like there is anyone at home waiting for me." He said in his usual monotone. He stood. "So is it a date?"

She knew how inappropriate it was, to see a movie alone with your teacher-he'd even said that it was a date! Sure he cold be trying to make her feel better and sure it wasn't really a date because that would involve hand holding and kissing in the theatre which would not happen, but she couldn't help the rush of excitement that went through her.

She smiled.

"Ok."

-

"So how does this look?" Temari asked Shikamaru and Itachi as they stood in front of the dressing room door where she had just been in. She twirled in the black and white polka dot dress.

"Eh I give it a four what about you Jim?" Itachi asked looking at Shikamaru, who still had a sad look on his face. Itachi had never seen the kid like that before.

"I give it a negative 0 Bob." Shikamaru said receiving a shoe thrown his way. He ducked.

Temari vanished back into the dressing room with a huff. Itachi nudged Shikamaru with his elbow.

"What is with you?"

"Nothing."

"What, no 'troublesome' catch phrase?"

Shikamaru just sighed.

"I asked out Hinata."

"Hinata but why would you do that everyone knows-oh!" Itachi said with his mouth slightly opened in surprise.

"I guess I was the only one who didn't know she had some dreamy fiancé huh. This is just too troublesome. Ino was right; when I would find a girl she'd be taken."

Itachi shook his head.

"It's not like Hinata and Kyoya like each other they were betrothed a long time ago-it might not even fall through."

"Sure, you're just saying that so that I don't steal your girlfriend."

Itachi glared.

"That was only for a week and she and I were on a break, don't forget that."

"Sure, if you can live with that." He walked towards the exit. "I'm outta here being with you two lovebirds is much too troublesome for my taste."

Itachi stared off after him and sighed. He could just feel the drama rising-he hated drama.

"Damn."

And he so wanted to avoid the drama.

-

After Haku had driven Ino home and after Sasuke had stopped yelling at Gaara from pulling his bangs-although he started-Gaara stood in front of the bus stop with an annoyed expression on his face. This was unbelievable.

He should have just gone home with Haku-he hated taking the bus.

Ever since that time he and his brother went on when he was four and Kankuro had left him on the bus by himself. He managed to make it to Kutou-County before uncle Yashamaru found him, and even then Kankuro had blamed it all on Gaara for not following him.

Since then he was a little afraid to get on the bus.

"Well things can't possibly get any worse." He sighed deeply staring off into the darkening sky before he felt a water droplet. "Shit."

It started raining.

"Well now, isn't this just dandy…I feel like killing something." He said with a scowl. Oh Sasuke was so dead…it was his fault after all.

"Gaa-Chan! What are you doing in the rain?" A very child like voice asked from behind him.

"Oh, Mitsukuni-Sempai." Gaara said but the boy smiled brightly. Gaara noticed that there were teddy bears on his umbrella. "Where is Takashi-sempai?"

"Oh Takashi had practice so it's just me alone to-day!" He half shouted. His bright brown eyes sparkled noticing the bag the Gaara held in his hands.

Ah yes, Gaara had bought a strawberry cake and some coffee.

"Oh really. Are you waiting for the bus?"

"No, I came here because from my limo I saw Gaa-Chan."

"Uh yes…that's nice. Um Mitsukuni-sempai, may I ask for a favor?"

"Call me Huni!"

"Huni-chan, can you please give me a ride home?"

Huni nodded, Usa-chan, his bunny, bobbing in his arms.

"Ok!"

Now I know what you must be thinking. How is it that Gaara didn't melt by Huni's cuteness? Well let me explain. Gaara is adept in hiding his true feeling and facial expressions, it's his special talent. In all actuality he's trying to hide a blush as bad as Hinata's and trying to ward off screaming "HOW CUTE!" and hugging Huni.

It's not easy at all if you ask him.

-

**_'Tatara we will always be together.' _**

**_'I love you always…' _**

Sakura dried her eyes as she stared at the screen; it had taken a full twenty minutes to convince Kakashi to see this movie, _The Legend of Fated Love_, which was a star-crossed romance manga that had been made into a motion picture movie.

Kakashi yawned beside her.

Suddenly on the screen a demon appeared on the screen and had attacked the young woman on screen.

Sakura let out a yip and grabbed Kakashi's arm. She hid her face in his arm shaking.

"Uh…"

"Scary…"

Kakashi patted her head with his free arm, quite uncomfortable since his former student was snuggled up against his arm.

"Sakura…"

His former student who was sixteen.

"Kakashi…is it gone?"

"Yeah."

His former student who was sixteen, which he currently had a crush on.

"Ok." She said letting go. She looked back on at the screen intently, never noticing that Kakashi was watching her instead of the movie.

'I'm in trouble.' Kakashi thought before tearing his eyes off her and watching the screen.

-

"I hate Gaara!" Sasuke shouted as he threw himself on Naruto's bed. He looked up at the poster of Sailor Moon on the ceiling and rolled his eyes. He could see her panties.

"What else is new?" Naruto asked from his desk, BoB sat in his lap playing with Kumagoro-Naruto's bunny plush. "You've hated him since middle school."

"Yeah well now I really hate him."

"What? Did he criticize your baking skills? Did he say that the cupcakes at the bakery were stale again?"

Sasuke gritted his teeth.

"That bastard was the one who started that rumor?"

Naruto looked away smiling nervously. He thought Sasuke knew about that.

"Uh…no?"

"That **BASTARD**! First he hits on Ino and then he disses the bakery?"

"Wait he hit on Ino?"

Sasuke nodded.

"Yeah."

Naruto tilted his head in what Sasuke called "confused idiot" and bit his bottom lip. "But Gaara likes Matsuri."

"Yeah well…he was feeling up on Ino's ass."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in."

Iruka stood in the doorway-the apron he wore was stained with a splotch of sauce.

"Sasuke are staying for dinner?"

Sasuke sat up and shook his head.

"No I've gotta get to the bakery-don't have time or dinner. I was just on my way out." He said standing up. He swung his bag over his shoulder and walked out of the bedroom saying a quick bye.

"Was it something I said?" Iruka asked about Sasuke quick departure.

"No-he's just an idiot."

Iruka nodded.

"I'm not feeding the monkey."

"Alright."

"Why isn't he in his cage?"

Ah yes another wonderful day at the Umino house-for you see the second Iruka said cage BoB jumped out of Naruto arms and jumped onto Iruka's head.

--

**Next Episode of Le Phoenix: Sakura's locked out of her house-Hiakru Kaoru make a real appearance and Sasuke makes some explosive cupcakes for Gaara! **

**Sera: It wasn't that funny. I think that this was one of the more serious chapters that this storyhas. The humor will return with the twins though I assure you and BoB…well BoB will make Sasuke and Iruka's life hell. And on Kakashi and Sakura? You can see where that is going, I don't really like the couple but you must admit it will make everything interesting. Hopefully the way I write them out it will be nice-after all I wasn't a SasuIno fan and well read this stories prequel. **

**Sasuke: Review and no flames please!**


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